magickalconnections

First of all, I want to say this: I know that many don’t want to hear what I have to say and will even feel offended and attacked.

If you feel any of this, I ask you to be honest with yourself and evaluate why what I’m about to say is triggering you.

The wounded perspective

I don´t say this with judgment. We are all humans and as such not only do we make mistakes, we also have deep emotions. And if we get hurt to the point that we even suffer emotional trauma, we will inevitably feel, think, and act from a wounded perspective until we are truly able to heal.

This wounded perspective will always pass on the hurt to someone else, mostly those we claim to love. In a certain way, if we are not careful, it converts us into hippocrates as we claim to have certain values but at the same time apply those values selectively according to how we perceive a situation and what we think we are entitled to.

Let’s be honest here: If we get hurt and let the resulting emotions of resentment, abandonment, betrayal, and disillusion fester within us, does this not lead to us being capable of doing the same thing done to us to someone else or even worse? Can we even accept that whoever hurt us most probably did so because they are incapable of healing their own wounds?

I know, I have realized myself what I would be capable of if thoughts alone would make things happen.

If you have been wronged and profoundly hurt by someone in your past, picture your own scenario for a minute. Feel it, and then imagine I hand you a magic wand to make things right for you in any way you wish.

What would be your exact words to describe your wish?

Did you – in any way – feel that you were wishing for justice? What kind of justice? Did making the situation better for you involve punishing the person who wronged you by having them experience the same pain they inflicted on you or even worse?

Did you wish for divine justice or revenge? Is there even a difference?

If you dared looking into that mirror, what did you see? Do you like what you saw or did you turn away in disgust?

Remember, this is not about blame or judging the way we feel or what we are capable of.

This is not about right or wrong.

This is not about good or bad.

This is not even about justice.

This is about what we call Shadow Work. 

Carl Jung said “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Whether you want to be honest with yourself or keep your mask on while looking in the mirror is up to you.

You have the choice whether you want to keep lying to yourself or accept the dark side of you lurking in the shadows. 

The side that, in a certain way, makes you no better than the other person. 

The things that would make you feel guilty, ashamed, and like a hypocrite if they ever were to surface.

Facing our true self is what shadow work is all about. 

• It’s about accepting that we are human, and as such act in the perfectly imperfect ways that makes the human being the wonderful and mysterious creature God created.
• It’s about seeing our vulnerability, but instead of letting it play out the victim role, own it and see it as an opportunity to become unbreakable.
• It’s about facing the dark side of our psyche not to excuse our behavior, but to give ourselves the opportunity of choice and therefore freedom on a daily basis.

We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to define our values and stick to them no matter what, so that we can live life to the fullest by walking in our authenticity.

We don’t have to be strong all the time, we just have to recognize what are the things that hurt us and take responsibility for our own healing.

We don’t have to hide what we really feel and who we are, we just have to make the choice of always acting in alignment with our values no matter what the situation. Even no matter what others do to us.

What does true healing look like?

Healing does not mean that the pain goes away. It simply means that remembering what was done to us or what we lost is part of our story and happened for a reason. It showed us where we lost ourselves and helped us remember who we are and why we came into this world.

You know when you have truly healed and not just sugar coated pain with positive thinking and affirmations when remembering what happens no longer feels like chains threatening to crush you but like fibers lightly woven into the fabric of your being.

You no longer define yourself by what was done to you or what you lost – you define yourself by how you rose and transformed.

Forgive yourself for all those moments where you ignored your feelings instead of listening to the guidance they are trying to give you, when you kept quiet instead of speaking your truth.

Forgive yourself for the times you regret doing, or not doing, something.

When you have truly healed,

instead of feeling ashamed and guilty you take responsibility without judgment and recognize that you made your decisions based on your knowledge and the level of awareness you had at the time.

Instead of pretending or seeking approval, you simply share your truth. You walk through darkness but you don’t live there.

When you hold your story with reference instead of resistance then wholeness takes the place of confusion and denial.

You know that you have healed, when you are able to revisit your past with purpose, to gather wisdom and close cycles, not to justify your pain or seek blame.

You honor and sit with your memories without clinging to them and let them overwhelm you.

Something inside you feels lighter. Healing by integrating your shadow is not pushing away what hurt you but to welcome it as part of your human experience and a deep understanding that everything your soul endured was necessary to arrive here and become who you´ve always meant to be. 

Clarity and peace replace the despair you felt previously. It’s not about becoming cold or indifferent, it’s about becoming grounded in the clarity you need to see things for what they truly are and transform your pain into purpose and unstoppable action.

Knowing yourself and stepping into your own power is everybody´s personal spiritual journey. It’s a quiet process, there is no right or wrong.

If you are ready to take the first step, start by realizing that

• 1) the truth doesn’t matter, how we perceive the truth matters and
• 2) what was done to you is not what hurt you, it is the meaning you give to it that keeps you stuck in the past.

Please let us know what you think, and if you have any tips for those feeling lost in their pain, share it, you never know how much your words could change somebody’s life today!

As always sending you all my love,

Wanda